This week the passing of time has been my preoccupation. One afternoon, I noticed a landmark house that was once a stately Victorian on a corner of Hwy 64 and the next morning it was gone. Behind the remaining pile of boards I could see the edge of the machine that had obliterated that part of history. The area around that house is being developed into a warehouse, new construction for the current era. The nearby roads, that used to provide pastoral country drives when I lived in the area in the early 90s, are now congested with drivers commuting from their neighborhoods that were once farms. Those changes over time are ones that we all see, especially in growing areas like the Triangle of North Carolina.

A more bittersweet change that marks the passing of time is the growth I see in my grandsons. Last Saturday when I arrived at my 6-yr-old grandson, Parks’s soccer game, I saw a boy ‘who looked like him’ in the goalie position. He was standing back near the net wearing goalie gloves. Yes, that was Parks but in the time since I’d seen him he’d gotten taller, thinned out, and lost that little boy look that I loved.

The next day his older brother, Baker who is 8, had a baseball game. He’s moved up to the pitching league and had his first try at pitching. In the photo his mother took, Baker looks like he’s at least in middle school — not 3rd grade. What happened to that little boy I used to keep and play baseball with his fat plastic bat and nerf ball? How did time go by so quickly — even for a grandmother who gets to see them regularly?

I know that what I’m feeling is universal — not just the experience of a 71-yr-old grandmother. But as you grow older and your life isn’t so hectic, you have more time to ponder and less years in front of you. Now I’m acutely aware of the need to savor moments, to be present and give my full attention to whatever activity we’re doing. I have to be intentional in being grateful for all the times we’ve had together and enjoy my memories that are stored in the numerous pics in my phone. We’re lucky we can record our moments so easily now and instead of searching through a box of photos, we just pull out our phones.

I read an article about how to deal with the feeling of time passing quickly– especially as a senior. One suggestion was to decrease the number of things in your schedule in order to focus on the most important things– especially relationships and personal passions that bring you joy. I’m finding that my circle of activities has reduced in order to take care of maintaining my health — so I’ll be around longer. Sometimes the best thing is to sit and observe nature which reveals its own rhythm, the circle of life.

One article advised grandparents against saying to their grandkids, “Don’t you grow up too fast.” It was felt that young people hearing that are at the age where growing up is what they want to do. To say that as a senior shows a lack of understanding that child’s point of view, that future focus of childhood. They look forward to moving up to higher levels of play, to getting their driver’s license, to staying home alone. I guess it’s best to listen to where they are with their dreams, understand what that means at their age, and keep our sadness at watching them “grow up too fast” to ourselves; we can share that sentiment with fellow grandparents.

It does help to share this part of life with others who are at a similar place. We never tire of sharing our grandchildrens’ photos or telling stories of their latest accomplishments. Afterwards, I feel grateful to have this rich life and when I’m focused on gratitude, then I can let go of sadness. Life is brief and that reminds me to be wise in how I spend my days.

Best to you,

Connie aka “Grammy”