Yesterday morning, I enjoyed sitting at my kitchen table, sipping my first cup of French Roast, and watching the interaction of the birds in my patio. I have a special fondness for the Eastern bluebirds, a couple who’ve taken up residence in my birdhouse and now have 3 eggs in the nest. The daddy is quite a protective father, perching on the patio fence and attempting to chase away the squirrel that insists on dominating the feeder. The daddy swoops down and pecks at the squirrel’s behind. Sometimes I join his efforts and bang on the patio door and then open it and yell at the squirrel in my deepest voice. It works momentarily, the squirrel escaping underneath the gate and the bluebird swooping down further to make his point. But soon the squirrel is back and the same scene unfolds.

Watching the birds, my mind was distracted from my initial feeling of inertia, of being overwhelmed with my task of rewriting the opening chapters of my Bk 3–sequel memoir. In my morning devotional from Sarah Young’s book, Jesus Listens, I’d just read, “The choice to be bold rests in my confidence that you are with me and for me.” Sometimes when you’re working on something by yourself–like writing or another area you’re passionate about, it feels like you’re all alone. It seems hard for others to understand how you struggle. For me, believing the words of Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do,” I know that I can get beyond this block. Yet doubt can quickly seep in and I’ll feel like a well that’s dried up; I don’t know if there’ll be another creative thought, another idea for a blog post, another inspiration for how to write the memoir. Then I take a step forward and reread the words from the devotional that “God is infinitely creative” and the accompanying scripture from Matthew, “With God All things Are Possible.”

I continued my morning reflection with my second cup of coffee and more patio drama with new birds added to the scene: sparrows and a goldfinch. Still the daddy stands guard at the fence, even with these smaller creatures that aren’t as aggressive as the squirrel. The sunlight shines on the bird’s deep blue head and back, flanked by the russet brown of his chest, the perfect combination of colors. He reminds me of the words from Emily Dickinson’s poem, “Hope”:

“Hope is the Thing with Feathers that Perches in the Soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all,”

I moved on from the inspiring words of the poem to checking my email. There was one from my writing partner who’s critiquing Bk 3. She offered suggestions and words of encouragement to help me get around my blocks. She reminded me that memoirs are true stories told well–but I had to choose what’s right for me to share.

Another email was from a site that has to do with numbers, with Numerology. I didn’t remember subscribing to that site but may have when a post piqued my interest. While I’m not a ‘follower of numerology’, I don’t discount that there are different ways of knowing. I believe that God can use various sources to help me on this life journey. That article talked about the number 7 and that it carried an energy of “introspection, mental clarity, and spiritual awareness. When it becomes active, your mind begins filtering everything you have absorbed–Thoughts, Emotions, Experiences, Patterns.”

While I’ve been working on the memoir revisions that have to do with the ending of my marriage, all of those things have been going through my mind. Part of my writing block has been due to being overwhelmed by all that I’ve been filtering. The article recommended quiet and allowing the process in order to move toward clarity.

For me, the bluebirds and emails were a synchronous answer to my prayer for help. Many times I’ve seen how answers come in ways that seem simple, insignificant but filled with meaning when I open my eyes of faith.

I don’t know where you’re struggling, where you have blocks or feel overwhelmed. But I do wish that whatever you need will show up in your path.

Connie