Yesterday would have been Mama’s birthday. She was born in 1923 and lived to be 96. I think back on how she exemplified some of the habits that are known to help maintain vitality — no matter your chronological years.

Mama enjoyed learning new things. When she was in her sixties, she started taking painting classes. She especially liked attending with her friend, Hazel. I wasn’t surprised that Mama showed ability in visual art. She rendered sketches of everyday objects with no difficulty. She was an excellent seamstress and I remember standing beside her in front of the Belk in our hometown while she sketched a dress on one of the mannequins. Later, she purchased a Butterick pattern that closely resembled that dress and made changes for it to be like the one in the window.

Her children and grandchildren were impressed by Mama’s paintings — many of farm scenes. One year she asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“I want a painting of morning glories.” I had a Better Homes and Gardens magazine with a cover photo of that vine with blooms like the ones in my yard.

I was so pleased that she honored my request and now there’s a Mary Rosser Original hanging in my house. In true Mama-style, she signed and dated it MRosser ’96 in the left lower corner in the grass where it’s barely visible — never one to bring attention to herself.

Mama was curious. This trait had to be there when she was 19 years old and traveled to Harrisburg, PA with her cousin and best friend, Yvonne. They were with a group of women who were trained in that northern city to work in Civil Service during WWII. Yvonne said that part of the reason for going to Harrisburg, and after the war, to Kansas City for jobs in the airlines, was to “get off the farm.” How different those places would have been from their homes in rural Harnett county.

While raising her three daughters, Mama loved traveling on family vacations. She was more curious about history than me — pushing us to read the historical signs on our trips. At 70 yrs old she finally got to visit a land that had been a place her mother, Grandma Smith had always longed to visit: the Holy Land. Grandma had a map of that region tacked to the wall in her farmhouse living room. Mama was impacted by being baptized in the Jordan River, often sharing with others the joy of that experience. When she was 83, she joined my older sister, Harriet and a group of family and friends on an Alaskan Cruise. She often referred to that trip and what she liked about the large boat. Harriet said Mama had insisted on eating pancakes every day — a luxury of someone cooking her meal which at home was often cereal or oatmeal.

Mama loved flying and that didn’t go away as she aged. For her 87th, 88th, and 89th birthdays, Harriet arranged for her friend, who was a pilot, to take Mama up for a Birthday Flight. Two people could accompany her in that 4-seater plane. One year she wanted her beloved older brother, Joe to go with her. Afterwards I asked Uncle Joe, “How did you like that plane ride?”

He had a slight grin and responded, “I didn’t want to go up in that little plane. But I said I’d do it for my sister.”

Mama enjoyed good conversation, interacting easily with people in her friendly, Southern, Scotts-Irish way. I remember Daddy’s frustration that “we were the last to leave the church yard” on Sundays because “Mary has to talk with everybody.” I think part of it was he wanted to eat the lunch she’d prepared of her perfect golden-fried chicken and fresh vegetables topped off by one of her homemade layer cakes.

In spite of these and other things that Mama did that maintained vitality, she was diagnosed with dementia when she was eighty. Hers was a non-Alzheimer’s type that had a slow progression. It was especially hard to watch her ability to communicate diminish. For as long as she could, even years into her stay at Parkview nursing/retirement center, she tried to participate in individual and group conversation. She had never been one to isolate herself and people enjoyed her company. Her social engagement made for a better quality of life up into her nineties.

I’m thankful for all the memories of my mother and the example she set. She never hesitated to tell her age and didn’t fret over gray hair or wrinkles. Her focus was on the richness of life and her love of God, family, and friends and anyone she encountered in her path.

Happy Birthday Mama! How we loved seeing you enjoy Your Day with those you cherished and with the simple joy of a birthday cake covered in candles.

Connie