This Sunday is the third of the Christian Advent season. The Shepherd’s candle will be lit and symbolizes Joy. I have lots of memories of singing the triumphant carol, “Joy to the World!” with small, lit candles held high with fellow worshippers.

At those moments, I was mostly thinking of the Christ child arriving as prophesied. I hadn’t thought a lot about Joy on an everyday basis, something I would likely attribute to personality types or good fortune; that is until a day when I was called to help a fellow nurse with a student.

It was in 1996. The nurse at McDougle Middle School asked me to assist her with a student having mental health issues. She knew I’d worked in mental health before coming to work for the school system. When I arrived, we met with the student in a guidance counselor’s office. After working through the situation and referring the student to appropriate resources, we had a successful resolution. What I remembered, long after I left that day, was a banner in that counselor’s office:

While I was aware of the impact of our thoughts from cognitive behavioral strategies, I’d never thought of choosing joy as an intentional way of going through life.

Four years later, in the fall of 2000, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After the first round of chemotherapy, I was lying across my bed feeling sad and overwhelmed by all the treatments ahead of me. It felt like I’d fallen into a dark pit of despair. Then, I received a phone call from my cousin, Ron. He’d been through so much including cancer treatment and a liver transplant. He was one of my older male cousins who felt like a big brother. He’d heard I was starting treatment and asked how I was doing. When I told him about how my body and heart ached, he responded in a surprising way.

“Connie, you’re not going to believe this,” he said. “God is going to bring you so much Joy during this time.” We shared a Christian faith and it wasn’t unusual for us to talk about spiritual matters, but it seemed to be an exaggeration to say I would experience Joy. Ron had a more exuberant personality than me–so maybe that was why he said that.

But in spite of all my doubt, I did experience Joy. I found that it wasn’t just me feeling that because of my faith, but others who weren’t committed to any faith also spoke of finding Joy in times of suffering. We shared in the experience of seeing life more fully when we were reduced to the moment, without the ability to escape illness.

I remember one of those home-bound days, walking out on my porch and plucking an azalea blossom. Looking down into the stamen, it was as if that orchid-like center was a world of beauty that I could crawl into. It brought me joy to see it in such detail, something I’d never appreciated. So many times through my treatment, a seemingly small thing flooded me with happiness that approached joy.

Eventually, I came to see that we all have a choice with the meaning we place on what happens to us each day, each moment. Joy is one of those choices.

In looking at what others say about a connection with Joy and Suffering, I found the website Thrive Global staffed with many professional experts on different aspects of health. A post by Ben Woodard, “The Interconnectivity of Joy and Suffering” nicely describes the relationship between the two:

“We must reframe suffering as something unpleasant but not without value. After all, it is only through suffering that we can experience and appreciate joy.” 

“There is no escaping suffering, yet there is also joy to be found when we are patient, humble, and accepting of our circumstances.”

https://community.thriveglobal.com/the-interconnectivity-of-joy-and-suffering/

In this holiday season, and in all the ordinary days that follow, my hope for you is that you find Joy by Choosing Joy. It is not ‘pie in the sky’ but rather a way to balance the suffering that is inherent in our life on this Earth.

Blessings on You and those you hold dear,

Connie