Last Saturday, I attended a birthday lunch for my brother-in-law, Winslow who was celebrating his 75th. Reference was made to it being his “3/4th of a Century Birthday.”; that really put it all in perspective. I’m about four years behind him and have had many conversations with my peers about life passing by so quickly.

A few months ago, for the first time, I said, “Before I die, I want to publish my next two books.” I’d planned one book, a sequel memoir but with so much happening in my life–marital separation at 64 then divorce at 65, completing my story would take a third book. Now, I’m working steadily on completing book two.

At times, I wonder if I’ll have enough time and energy to finish the remaining books.

I’ve always been a goal-directed person and I’m familiar with the steps it takes to accomplish big ones–like a college degree. Those have a progression of must-complete requirements giving you a structure that’s not negotiable. Smaller goals, like New Year’s resolutions eg. losing weigh, are much more open to individual structure and follow-through. After so many days, months, or even New Year’s setting the goal to lose weight, we wear down and eventually we may give up on that goal.

In looking online for ideas for this post, I found an article on the Sixty+Me site https://sixtyandme.com/how-to-recognize-the-difference-between-dreams-and-goals-in-your-60s/ “How to Recognize the Difference Between Dreams and Goals in your 60s.” I’d never considered the difference in how dreams and goals feel.

When the author, Ann Tanmayi Bruce, compares goals with dreams, she says, “Dreams, however, reach deeper into our psyche. They are with us right from birth, activating something far beyond our everyday life.”

I consider this; what were my dreams that were with me from birth? What were your dreams that were with you from birth?

I was always an imaginative child– having two best friends, Susan and Patty who lived beside out sandy driveway; Susan in the dogwood tree, Patty in the holly. Later, in sixth grade I started writing; I was a playwright creating stories about my difficult middle-child life on our farm. I also wrote my first book– simple metal-clasp pages, Tanderanda and Other Bedtime Stories. They were the ones I’d told my young cousin.

As I grew older and had to pick a real career, my practical side–nurtured by Depression Era parents, chose a science-based career in nursing. Later, I realized after I’d specialized in Psych/Mental Health, that what fascinated me were the stories of my patients. Procedures and ICU type technology didn’t pique my interest or draw me as I had minimal aptitude in those specialties. When I was forty, I felt an undeniable need to pursue my interest–once again, in writing. No matter how busy my life with family and work, I carved out time to write and joined a critique group.

My level of productivity has vacillated over the years, depending on my life situation, but I have maintained my motivation. Reading Bruce’s article, I see why:

“If we choose to birth our dreams into everyday reality, we’ll have no problem maintaining our motivation. In my experience, when we do that we are also tapping into a passion, which means we will achieve all we set out to do.”

And finally, in the last line of the section, “Dreaming Our Lives into Being”, Bruce summarizes the benefit of birthing our dreams:

“There’s an added bonus too, because we’ll exude vitality along the way.”

I’ve witnessed this in friends who have found a passion that was sidelined earlier in their lives. One guy has pursued social dancing and keeps increasing his skill level with lessons and competitions. Another started taking acting classes after she retired from teaching.

Sometimes as people grow older, there’s a tendency to see what you can’t do, quickly calling up changes in our aging bodies, minds, energies. One website for in-home care noted the importance of patients continuing to set goals in their lives.

https://www.nursenextdoor.com.au/blog/why-goal-setting-is-important-as-we-age/

Though the level of the goal or dream may narrow due to changes in our bodies, minds, energies there is still the ability to keep pursuing our passion. The once-great painter may have to create small works from a wheelchair; the solo adventurer may need to take group trips; the skilled seamstress may switch to squares of a quilt that are hand-stitched. Somehow, someway, we need to encourage ourselves and others to keep the dream, the passion alive.

Next week, I’m going to the coast for a solo writing retreat. I need the time and space to spread out and work with focus on completing book two. Sometimes we need to get away in order to honor our passion, to shut everything else out in service of our craft. Do you need this? Would dedicating a block of time help you to progress toward realizing your dream?

My wish for you is that you continue to honor the passion you were born with, giving yourself what you need at this stage of your life.

Connie