This week, I’m remembering a trip I took three years ago that could be seen by some as reckless, and by others, brave.

Aldo, a guy I met at a retreat at The Abbey in Iona, Scotland in 2017 was coming from the Netherlands to be a men’s retreat leader in Sanford, Florida. We’d hit it off the first night our group gathered after the evening worship service at Iona. He was fifteen years my junior, married with four children, and he shared his struggles with faith more genuinely than anyone I’d ever met; especially for a man. We’d been on the same chore team and talked while cleaning out bathrooms and doing our other daily tasks.

After Iona, we kept up through emails and Facebook. I loved hearing the news of his life and his family. He was supportive of me when I shared the pain of going through divorce, and often had humorous responses to my adventures in on-line dating. In October of 2022, he was invited by a friend to lead the retreat in Sanford, Florida. He asked me if I could come there to visit him beforehand. He lives in Europe so I don’t know if he had any idea that it would be a nine-hour drive for me, since I preferred taking a road trip.

My rational mind started listing all the reasons that would be difficult, how it would be impractical. I also considered how it would look for a divorced older woman to drive to Florida to see a European man. People can say unflattering things about older women as well as those who are divorced. But then I stopped myself, realizing that it only mattered that I knew my intention and that I felt pulled to see my friend in person. Friendships aren’t based on age; they’re based on connecting around common interests and values at a soulful level. If I didn’t take this opportunity, what are the chances he’d be this close by again since his home was in the Netherlands?

I remembered the Life Coaching program I completed in 2015 and the section we covered on the intuitive part of coaching. The creator of the coaching course Wisdom of the Whole Academy was Linda Bark, a Ph D level nurse who incorporated her Western medicine training with learning Eastern practices in China. In her coaching textbook, she states:

‘The word intuition comes from the Latin and means “in to you.”It’s an internal knowing of deep inner truth. It can come as an inkling or hunch, or arrive as a strong sign or message that runs through body/mind/spirit.” (p 221, The Wisdom of the Whole: Coaching for Joy, Health, and Success)

I remember that as I learned more about intuition, I started throwing out a question, which for me, was partly a prayer. Over the years, many had focused on where to take my Solo Journey that year. My question was, “God, where should I go on my trip?” Then I waited to see what would come up–in conversations, in my interest, through information that came randomly. Some of what followed came energetically–how I felt in my body when I thought of certain options—excited, alert, heart pounding a bit faster or sluggish and dreading the preparation.

When I threw out the question, “Should I go to Florida to see Aldo?” everything that followed was positive. “Go!”

How happy we were to see each other. We had so much to catch up on. He told me about his work, family life, and the men’s retreat he’d be leading. He had a special place in his heart for Skye, Scotland and I’d just traveled there with my cousin to take her mother’s ashes. I understood how special that place was now that I’d experienced it for myself.

He wanted to know how I was making it since the divorce. He listened with patience and I shared things I thought I’d worked through. How good it felt to be really listened to and to let go of more that I’d been keeping inside.

We walked around the town of Sanford and enjoyed leisurely meals in the October sun. He asked if I’d like to go to the beach for the day since his friend offered that Aldo could use his car. What a treat to ride to Daytona Beach in that sports car.

There’s nothing like walking by the water to restore and relax my spirit and it seemed to do that for Aldo.

By the time I left, we’d grown our friendship. I drove back remembering our conversations while he proceeded to gather with the men at the retreat. How thankful I was that I’d followed my intuition, my inner knowing about what was right for me.

Best to you,

Connie