Today I had a “phone visit” with my cousin — one of those conversations that lasts like a visit, drinking coffee at the kitchen table while settled in the warmth of family connection. I’d called to check on him as he recovered from pneumonia. I’d waited to make the call until I thought he’d have the breath, the energy, to talk. I remembered my experience two years ago with that illness.

Looking back now at journal entries for April 2023, I see that I was totally thrown by how quickly you could change from being in “the best shape” to being “in the worst shape” of your life. As I slowly regained my strength and left that 3-day hospital haze behind, I spent my days on the couch thinking about all the things I needed to do that I had no energy to tackle. Normally, I had friends and family I could call to talk about whatever was troubling me, but with my breathlessness and incessant coughing, those weren’t options. I felt backed into a corner by my illness and my natural impatience to move forward was blocked by a force stronger than my will.

What came forth naturally were like one-sentence messages from God, instructions on how to slow down. Before I’d gotten sick, I realized I’d been pushing myself too hard. I was retired but I’d never retired my driven, goal-oriented nature. Looking back at my calendar, I saw the spaces filled with activities: 3-4 dances a week, writing deadlines, lunches with family and friends, routine appointments, house maintenance. I’d planned to start slowing down but having pneumonia forced this to happen.

Between naps and short walks outside, ideas for cutting down came to me. What if I prioritized my relationships and invested my energy accordingly? Sometimes I’d had the tendency to give everyone my energy, but now I saw that energy is finite. Being more careful about how I used that resource would put the focus on the most essential relationships, giving time proportionally.

While I tend to be a “talker” 🙂 not having a voice during my illness showed me how much energy all that talking takes. Even text messages took more energy than I had, especially during those early days. How restful it was to be quiet. In that stillness, I was able to relax and was reminded of one of my favorite scriptures from the Bible: “Be Still and Know that I am God.” Ps. 46:10. That need for quiet during those days of slow recovery was a message to build in more of the same when I was back to normal.

During my transition from married to single life, I’d found that dancing was a great release and way of meeting new people. I participated in Swing, Two-Step, and Blues dancing multiple nights and special events on the weekends. What if I was more moderate in my approach, alternating dances each week, especially since I’d learned the steps and had made friends at each venue? Not only would it decrease my busyness and energy expenditure, it would help to prevent burnout that comes with doing something too habitually.

Over the past two years since my experience with pneumonia, I’ve put into place some of those things that came to me. I still lapse into forgetful overactivity, but now I more quickly correct my path. And now that I’m two years older, I realize some of those same considerations of energy expenditure will come in the years ahead.

When my cousin and I talked, he expressed his frustration with how his illness had sapped his energy. Like me, he is having to grapple with changes he needs to make now as he recovers and as he grows older.

We all need to be gracious with ourselves and each other as we face these challenges along our path. Life is precious and we can enjoy it most when we relax into each season, each situation, letting the changes we need to make flow forth naturally.

Best to you,

Connie