Today I’m reliving memories of last night’s high school reunion. It was four hours of switching from past to present, reconciling the frozen-in-time memories of some classmates with the person who was in front of me.

There’s always a big build up before events like this– at least I think it’s that way for most of us. With the uncertainty comes a bit of anxiety, and a “Why am I doing this?” I tend to ‘overthink’ things in order to compensate for my uncertainty.

During the days before the reunion, it helped me to frame the event as a new path to explore, like I’ve viewed my seventeen solo journeys. Before each of those, and every morning while on that trip, I pray for God to “bless me and the people in my path.” I never know who I will meet and how they will impact my life or I will impact theirs. This journey was different because it was with people I knew at various levels. On this path, I would encounter situations that could be awkward because of my divorce. This is how I said it in last week’s post:

“My plan is to “stay present” and be with each person in my path–much as I do on my solo journeys. I want to be other-conscious instead of self-conscious. I trust that the evening will be enjoyable, though maybe a bit awkward, if I let go and allow things to just flow;”

Last night, I was mostly able to do that. Since my boyfriend, John was with me and didn’t know any of my classmates, I wanted to introduce him to folks I’d been closest to. Fortunately, another classmate’s guest loved sports and he and John could talk while I scouted the room for my friends–and those I most needed to see. Some, I would bring back to our corner to meet John. I know it was a blur for him, me telling some of the story of my friendship with each classmate.

Eventually, I spotted David, my Ex in the room; it was time to get the awkwardness over with. I’d told him about John but they’d never met. I walked over to David, and made a comment about how unbelievable that it was our 50th reunion, and then I said I wanted him to meet John. He followed me over to where John was stationed and I made the introductions.

When I’d originally told David about John, I’d shared some information about a connection the two of them had in common–working with adolescents at a wilderness camp. That had been my segue for that first conversation and I heard David mentioning that to John. Someone came over to talk with me about that time, so the remainder of John and David’s conversation is a blur; the most important thing was that it happened; that first meeting was done and I felt a sense of relief.

With that out of the way, I could move about more freely. I saw classmates that had been with me since first grade at Jonesboro– like Pat, and Randall, and June. How easy it was to instantly reconnect and recall memories from those years. I also sought out those friends I’d made from ‘the other side of town’ once I got to high school– like Delores, and Debbie, and Judy– to name a few. There were classmates I knew immediately, and others I had to confess that “it’s been so long–who are you?” and then I’d get a closer look at their name tag. I’d expected it to be that way–because we’ve all changed in so many ways; but at least we know we’re the same age!

I value all those interactions–those that were brief and skimmed the surface, as well as those that went deeper and built on previous conversations. A classmate, I hadn’t known well, let me know in a heartfelt way, how sorry she was for the break up of my marriage and the disruption it had caused in my life. A couple of classmates shared about the grief they’d experienced with the death of a child– one lost her son, the other lost her daughter. Besides being able to give words of support, acknowledging they’d been through the hardest thing, the reunion allowed me to give each a hug– a real, in-person hug.

One classmate, whom I’ve gotten to know since graduation, and who knows about my divorce through my writing, shared with me about her marital break up; mine happened after forty years of marriage; hers had been longer. I could tell she needed to talk; it’s easy to recognize when someone’s at that point when you’ve been through it yourself. We made a plan to get together in the future. I felt for her, remembering the pain of your life being turned upside down, realizing you weren’t going to be able to fix it.

I remember something from my last week’s post that seems appropriate:

Life is filled with twists, and turns, and things we never expected; we all share that reality.

Looking about the room last night, I know that if I talked with each classmate, they could tell my their stories of the twists and turns over the past 50 years. We’ve all had our joys and sorrows, our grace-filled surprises and colossal disappointments. We are a testament of resilience, thankful to be present for this event, remembering our classmates who have passed into the next life and have left us behind.

These are the SCHS Beauties who attended last night. Sorry I don’t have a pic of our guys!

In the year of my divorce, I read this quote by Joseph Campbell; it resonated with me:

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned

in order to have the life that is waiting for us.”

My hope for myself and my classmates—and for all of you, is that we will be accepting of the life we have, the present reality —as long as it is healthy for us. And if it’s not, may we have the power within to make the changes that are needed to live our best lives– no matter our age.

With Love to You All,

Connie