This past week, I’ve felt the impact of having been in this pandemic shut down for a month. While most of the time, I can find hope and write about that in my blog– I struggle like everyone with sustaining hope.
I work part-time with a research study that looks at the impact of mental illness on obtaining gainful employment. As the Nurse Care Coordinator, my job is to help the participants engage in healthcare and to follow through with provider recommendations. Last week when I was reviewing a participant’s notes from her video-visit with her therapist, I read her responses to the therapist’s questions. This client has ongoing problems with her mood, and when asked how she was holding up during this pandemic, she responded, ” My hope is giving out.”
That statement stayed with me. I think that we can identify with this feeling, whether we have a mood disorder or not; this unusual situation is pressing in on all of us. It’s such a challenge to be content in the present, but yet allow ourselves to look beyond and into the future when the things we love will return.
For some folks, it’s taking long anticipated trips to celebrate special accomplishments like retirement or turning over a landmark year. We wonder when we’ll feel safe flying or traveling anywhere on the globe. I was starting to plan an October trip to Scotland with my cousin. She would be fulfilling her mother’s final wishes to have her ashes placed at Skye where the maternal grandmother’s McDonald family originated. But now, we’ve put that on hold to some uncertain future date–waiting to see what happens.
One of the things I’ve missed the most during this time has been dancing. My Thursday night Texas 2-Step and Sunday night Swing dancing had been a huge support during this difficult year of separation. That suddenly came to a shocking halt on March 15th and now with all the concerns about keeping a safe distance, I wonder when we’ll be able to dance again. If I played golf, I could keep a safe distance, but with dancing that’s just not possible.
Some of my friends are feeling the loss of spending time with their family– especially their grandchildren. I’ve been lucky that I continue to see Baker since I provide ‘essential’ childcare two days a week. Doing FaceTime or Family Zoom meetings help, but there’s nothing like being there in person and wrapping your arms around one another. Will we ever take that for granted again?
As I’ve written about the past two weeks, nature is a constant that has helped me during this time. I’ve taken many long walks, and yesterday when I was working in my yard in the late afternoon, I found the light was magical. The air had a buoyancy and lifted my spirits. It reminded me of a Solo Journey I took to Cape Vincent, New York almost ten years ago. (Described in detail in Chapter IX of my memoir, He Heard My Voice, available on Amazon)
I chose to go there because they had a Lighthouse Keeper’s House that was a hostel at Tibbett’s Point where the St. Lawrence River runs into Lake Ontario. The hostel guidebook said that those who’d visited claimed it was “the place to see the most beautiful sunsets.” Many of the destinations I’ve traveled to on my yearly pilgrimages are on the water because I find it so renewing.
While I watched the sunset from my Adirondack chair on the hostel lawn, I felt a peacefulness envelope me and time seemed to slow down. I asked myself, “Why have you lived for so many years and observed so few sunsets?”
Scrolling through my past to answer that question, I saw images of my busy life as a mother and nurse over all those years of raising my family. But I also noticed, that even when I could slow down after my children left home– I hadn’t. I was so used to the rhythm of going too fast, that I never switched into a healthier pace.
When I have times of feeling like “my hope is giving out,” I return to the scripture that most speaks to me– especially now in this phase of my life.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
We don’t know how long this sheltering in our homes will last; we see signs that it will be lifted in the not so distant future. For now, my hope is that we can be content to stay safe in the present and find satisfaction in reaching out to others.
And sometimes, we can be lifted by our dreams about our future– envisioning those sweet reunions and the joyous return to the things we love.
What about You?
What helps you when you feel your hope is giving out?
What can you do in the week ahead that will help you manage another week of the pandemic restrictions?
8 thoughts on “Keeping Our Hope”
Continued good words of encouragement during these unusual times.
I hope you can take your Scotland trip this fall. We are hoping to go to Hawaii for Winslow’s 70th BD. You know it got cancelled just 2 years ago.
Thanks so much for reading and for your encouraging words. Yes, I know y’all have been looking forward to that trip and it’s been hard to wait. But I think we all have to be cautious about rushing too soon when we don’t know all we need to know about this virus–and we certainly don’t have a cure.
I wish for you and Winslow to make that trip to Hawaii, as I wish for my trip to Scotland–but only when the time is right.
Best to you from your ‘little’ Sister,
Oh, Connie. We must hang onto hope if we are to survive. I feel that keeping the Faith will cover any question of our hope. Then again, I may be wrong. Holding deep into our fear, we find the dwindling of hope. Keeping the Faith seems to allow us to endure the circumstances to overcome whatever we feel is our weakness. Maybe I need to revisit my situation and re-evaluate the outcome. Great post, as always and let us know what you are thinking next week. Blessings and Love. John.
Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts. Our Faith in God does carry us through many storms in life. We do start to sink when we are gripped by fear–and we succumb to our particular weaknesses.
Wishing you the Hope you need now and in the days ahead. Have a good week.
Blessings to you, John,
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You are welcome.
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Very encouraging and uplifting! Enjoy your writings SO much! Many blessings on you and your writings! They do more good than you may realize! ♥♥♥
Thanks so much for your support of my writing. You always hope what you write resonates with readers and brings something to their lives. Thanks for saying that my writing is doing good. It helps me to hear that.
Hope you and Mike are doing well.