This week we eased into 2026. I say “eased into” because I had a quiet New Year’s Eve and I spent less time than usual reviewing 2025. Unlike previous years, I don’t have a new list of resolutions or the announcement of a big goal for the year like I did in January 2024. That month I made public my plan to walk the Camino then focused on building a support system. Looking back now at my January 11th post 2025: One Big Goal, I set completing my sequel memoir as my goal; today, I’m working on completing that in crafting the final chapters to submit to my critique group. This year I’ll continue with that goal and move on to Book 3 as I’ve come to view my collection.

The other post I wrote last January Intentional New Year still resonates with me. In thinking of 2026, there are things that are priorities that I will continue into this new year. Spending time with my family–my children and grandchildren, and with my boyfriend, are the most important relationships. Regular contact with my sisters and extended family, and with my friends is essential. It takes intentional scheduling to build these relationships one contact at the time, one conversation at the time. Time passes so quickly and if I don’t plan for time with these dear people it will be next January and I’ll regret losing those opportunities.

So, what I want to Do in 2026 is a continuation of what I’ve been doing. The more subtle thing that occurs to me on this second day of January is how I want to Be in 2026. I realized over this holiday season that my spirit can be fretful when I perceive things going in a less than ideal way. Some of that was fueled by the tasks of gift buying, baking, coordinating activities, and gathering with various family and friends. My nature is to be a sensor of all that’s going on around me. That characteristic served me well as a mental health nurse, leading groups and managing units where things were dynamic, at times, unpredictable.

But sometimes, that being sensitive, a sponge for the emotions that surround me, can be difficult. Add to that the tendency to be an idealistic dreamer and it can make for discontent. As a mother, I’ve had a pattern–like many mothers, of wanting everything to be nice for my family. It reminds me that underneath that Mama tendency is the stereotypical, “all I want for Christmas is for everyone to get along and be happy.”

Like many people, I’ve been trying to adjust over the past holidays to a new normal for my family: divorce. Now, there are new dynamics compared to all those years when we were together with the same patterns. From my perspective, we’ve made progress as we’ve navigated these changes. But even so, I find myself slipping back into that Mama role of wanting everything to be ideal, of peaceful and perfect gatherings. We come together from our different spaces that are so different from the past; how could I expect it to be simple?

After Christmas, I called a friend to have a “phone visit.” She is one person I can be absolutely honest with about whatever is causing me angst. I shared with her my moments of internal restlessness during the holidays. I anticipated this would be a hard season for her family as they grieve the loss of a family member killed last summer in a car wreck. We talked about what his widow had experienced in her day-to-day life and in anticipating the upcoming trial.

“Life is hard,” my friend said.

We were silent for a while. Slowly I realized that her statement helped to put things in perspective. Their family had experienced a horrible tragedy and I was letting little, everyday things rattle me.

What if I let go of my immediate sensitivity and instead put those anxious thoughts out there and became more of an objective observer of the situation? I have control of myself but of no other person. When my calm depends on their responses, then things become unpredictable, unsettling for me. Living in the present with a more realistic view of life, I can let go of my idealistic expectations and accept life as it is–whether it’s during the holidays or in its everyday messiness.

That’s a tall order for how I want to Be in the New Year. I know it’s a gradual process when we change our way of thinking and responding; both have been automatic for so long. But it’s worth working at and now I think the phrase “It is What it Is” may be useful for me in 2026.

Happy New Year to you all! I hope you go forward Doing and Being in the ways that serve you in 2026.

Connie