It was in June of 2023 — not long after the pandemic lockdown. I was in Charlottesville, Virginia with a friend walking around the downtown area. It was a casual Saturday, people eating brunch at the sidewalk tables and browsing the crafted goods of artisans. Heading for a coffee shop, I almost ran into a man stationed out front with a poster board sign that shocked me:

“HUGS FOR FREE”

I stepped back to see what I’d stumbled upon, wondering if my eyes deceived me.

There was a short line in front of the man, who was probably in his early sixties with gray hair and a salt-and-pepper beard. I watched as a woman — likely in her forties, stepped forward, spoke to the man and they chuckled, then they embraced in a full-on bear-hug that lingered. Afterwards, she thanked him and stepped away as the next woman, or maybe what I thought of as a needy victim, moved forward for the same type of embrace.

The man was calm, appeared to be clean without the dishevelment of a homeless person. He had a deeply satisfied and peaceful look as he provided his service. I walked into the coffee shop to order my dark brew and watched through their storefront window the scene that continued to unfold.

“Who does that?” I thought, wondering why the man would set up such a service in a public place. “And why would any woman hug a man she didn’t know?” I continued.

That scene played in my head throughout the weekend. Days later, back home and absorbed in my routine, an ah-ha came to me, like most, when I was doing a repetitive task.

“You could have used a hug,” that inner voice said with clarity. “Don’t you remember?”

And with a little effort, I pulled up the memory from the pandemic lockdown. It was a weekday morning and I’d driven to a nearby Hardee’s, a fast-food restaurant, to meet my son. He was bringing my grandson, Baker so I could take care of him that day. While I waited in my car, I watched the early morning contractors going in for breakfast biscuits. One guy caught my eye. He was in a brown tee shirt and jeans and appeared to be about ten years younger than me. He wasn’t what I’d call handsome, but he had a nice look– a bit husky with strong-looking arms. He appeared like the kind of guy you could count on.

Watching him walk across the parking lot, I felt a strong urge to get out of my car and go over to him and ask for a hug.

It had been a tough year; I was going through a divorce, living alone without even a dog. After my last 2-step dance on March 8, 2020 everything shut down. I didn’t realize until the year of lockdown that followed, how I’d been emotionally sustained by the touch of the dance. If you knew your partner, it was customary to hug when each song ended. How I’d missed that; yearning for the man in the Hardee’s parking lot made me realize how much so.

As we came out of the pandemic, there were a lot of stories about how people suffered from the isolation of that time. I thought about the impact of the lack of touch and found an article that explained some of the health benefits of hugs. In an article “What are the Benefits of Hugging?” at https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits, 7 benefits are described with details of research studies. Here’s some of what’s noted:

• Hugs reduce stress– giving another person support through touch can reduce the stress of the person being comforted. It can even reduce the stress of the person doing the comforting.
• Hugs may protect against illness– In a research study, participants who were hugged more often through their support system were less likely to get sick. If they did get sick they had less severe symptoms than those with little or no support system.
• Hugging can be good for your heart health. In one research study of 100 couples, the group who spent time holding hands then hugging showed greater reductions in blood pressure levels and heart rate. 
• Hugs can make you happier– Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the “cuddle hormone.” This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress.
• Hugs can help reduce your fears- touch can reduce anxiety in people with low self-esteem. Touch can also keep people from isolating themselves when reminded of their mortality.
• Hugs can help reduce your pain-Research suggests some forms of touch may be capable of reducing pain. Hugging may be a form of touch that can help.
• Hugs help you communicate with others– Most human communication occurs verbally or through facial expressions. But touch is another important way that people can send messages to one another.

Of course whether or not someone wants to be hugged is an individual choice. The man in Charlottesville didn’t force hugs; he just made them available. The article ends with the question, “So, how many hugs should you have a day for optimal health? According to the best science, we should have as many as possible if we want to reap the greatest positive effects.”

The man with the sign was on to something. I now appreciate him for his generous spirit, for all the hugs he gave — and received.

Here’s wishing you all the hugs you need to give and receive today.

Connie