This year I’ve decided to become part of two “tribes” or communities of people with common interests. While I’ve had individual interest in each area, it feels like being in a tribe is like having a broad network of interesting people who play different roles in each community.

Four years ago, a guy I met on an online dating site educated me about Blues music. I’d liked Blues but I had minimal knowledge of a few artists, styles, instruments. I never met that guy in person, but he left me with names of some musicians that were new to me like Keb’ Mo’, Joe Bonamassa, Joss Stone, and Beth Hart. For years, it was enough to listen to songs by these artists and others I discovered in the process.

Later, I joined some friends for dancing at a Blues venue in Durham–The Blue Note Grill. I was used to dancing in different settings–but those were primarily dance settings not music settings. The Blue Note was different. On the night when I first attended, I discovered I’d shown up to their weekly Jam Session from 7 – 10 every Tuesday night. I watched the process as area musicians signed up to play with fellow Blues artists. It was fascinating, as one who’s not a musician, never attended a jam, watching the artists sign up then join the assigned group every few songs. It amazed me how they could play without having practiced with their groups.

Later, I met Charley, one of the leaders of the Blues Society and a musician. He was very welcoming and explained that all the musicians were familiar with the chord progressions of Blues songs–at least I think that’s what he said! Unlike most of the musicians, Charley would also dance–helping me learn some of the different moves that are characteristic of Blues dancing–a style I had not tried. I accepted an invitation from a woman I’d known from my swing dancing to join them at a monthly blues dance. There, I’d have a group intro lesson that would further my understanding. I’d landed on a new style of dancing, but this one was different; the music spoke to me.

Typically, that would have been enough. To show up and dance and enjoy the music. But going to The Blue Note Grill was different; it was a community made up of musicians, people who had a love for the music but didn’t play an instrument, and dancers. Altogether, it had been a welcoming group and felt like a home base. More than any other group I’d been part of, the people their represented a broader cross section of age, race and ethnicity which felt right.

The more I went to the Jams, the more I appreciated the skill of the musicians and the effort they spent to provide a delightful evening of live music for us. In getting to know some of the members of the Triangle Blues Society, I realized I could be part of helping their effort. Here’s what their website says about their mission:

“Triangle Blues Society is an all-volunteer 501(c)(3) non-profit organization working to support, promote and grow blues music in the greater Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill, North Carolina area. TBS has been an affiliate member of the Blues Foundation in Memphis since 1996.”

https://triangleblues.com

I joined the group. Now I was a card-carrying-tee-shirt-wearing member!

A few weeks ago on Sunday afternoon, there was a benefit to support the musicians who’d won the competition to represent the TBS at the International Blues Competition in Memphis. I joined in and for the first time wore my black tee shirt. It was different for me to be part of a group and dancing with the others who also had their black shirts. In the past, I was more of a participant-observer, holding back from the sidelines. But as I’ve gotten to know the Blue Note crowd, I’ve become more comfortable, bold even, for me as we cut up and dance out in front of the stage.

Soon the National football playoffs will be aired and thinking of the Blue Note now reminds me of a football game. The musicians are the players on the field, the reason we show up. The cheerleaders are on the sidelines rooting on the players—and maybe in a similar way, we who dance at the Blue Note, are cheerleaders for the musicians. And then behind us are the fans in the stands, those folks about the room who are there for the overall experience. Altogether, we’re the community, the Tribe.

In thinking about this post, I read from an online site about the value of finding your tribe.

Finding your tribe

There are so many mental health benefits of having a group to belong to. There’s friendship and camaraderie with those with whom we have a shared passion. Being together in those groups, versus enjoying those passions alone, can magnify the benefits. It increases our network of support and provides activities to brighten our days. We broaden our knowledge and experiences that enrich our cognitive functioning. We have a vehicle for contributing to a cause that we feel is worthwhile—and keep it viable for the future.

I know I will learn a lot this year in the Blue Note Tribe. I plan to seek out musicians and ask the questions I have— a more dynamic and accurate path than a Google search 🙂 I’ll make an effort to help hesitant first timers get out on the floor and dance. It just takes that first time to decrease that pent up fear, and eventually you realize—people don’t care how I look when I’m dancing; they just want to have fun, too!!

Next month, I’ll be joining my second tribe–for a totally different passion. For now, I’ll continue to appreciate the music provided on these dark Tuesday nights by a talented and generous group of Blues musicians.

Best to you all for finding Your Tribe,

Connie