It’s New Year’s Eve, a time for looking back.

When I see 2023 in Review, I ask myself these questions:

I’ve thought about those questions and wonder if you’ve been considering similar ones in your life. I gain clarity by journaling; I know that’s not everyone’s method. It helps me to take a long walk and call up these questions then work through what comes to me with pen in hand.

Looking back on my year, I could divide it into 2 phases: before pneumonia, after pneumonia. From January until mid-April, I was busy, too busy in retrospect, trying to settle into my townhouse, build a patio garden, and host friends and family which included cooking more than usual. Meanwhile, I danced 2-3 nights a week. Worn down, I caught a virus in mid-April, followed by another one that was likely RSV, and then entered the hospital on May 6th with bacterial pneumonia. I had no idea how that illness could pack a punch to someone who’d been so active and healthy.

I wonder if an illness or accident had an impact on your life in 2023–or perhaps it was that you were the caregiver for someone who had that experience.

For me, that three-day hospitalization knocked me off my feet and made me look closely at how I used my energy. Lying in that bed, out of breath with the least bit of exertion, I confronted the ways I had failed to put boundaries on my activity. I didn’t see how much energy is used in the everyday things of life– like talking, listening, texting, hosting dinner guests, maintaining a house. Everything we do requires energy; I didn’t get that until I was stopped in my tracks.

After my time at UNC Rex, it took me at least a month to feel like myself. I didn’t return to dancing for 6 weeks and then attended only one a week and danced no more than every third song. I had to pace my recovery, putting boundaries in place that had never been there before. The experience left me feeling vulnerable, aware that life can change so quickly. It also made me more intentional, finally prioritizing how I would spend my energy. Just as there is limited energy, there is limited time; I had to make decisions about with whom to spend time.

In 2023, I didn’t go on my yearly Solo Journey as has been my custom for many years. Instead of taking that trip to a new destination, my path was a “Single’s Journey” walking on this trail of dating and learning about relationships at this ‘late stage of life.’ Just as I would have researched my destination if I’d taken a trip, I’ve done my research about relationships by watching many Youtube videos and reading books by coaches. I don’t know if relationship coaches existed back in my single years in my twenties. I never knew about ‘attachment styles’ as it pertained to men and women in romantic relationships; I’d just learned about babies and their attachment to their mothers while taking psychology and doing a pediatrics rotation in nursing school. Who knew that this Baby-Boomer-Dating would learn that you can have an Anxious-Avoidant coupling that isn’t a good match! I have learned about myself through the men in my path this year.

In November when my nine month relationship ended, I returned to advice by all the relationship coaches– Get on With Your Life making it what you desire, investing in all the activities that make you more of who you truly are. Be thankful for that relationship and all it brought into your life but don’t keep hanging on— leaving energy tied up there which could be used in a new relationship; another reminder of putting boundaries on our energy.

Now, as I anticipate tomorrow’s dawn of a new year, I look at my hopes for 2024. As I’ve shared over the past couple of months, my desire is to walk the Camino. I’ve started training and now as I step into 2024, I will need to be more focused, more intentional to realize that goal next summer.

I think back to last May when I had to start from the ground at building my endurance after pneumonia. How thankful I am for my progress. I’ll also continue to walk this dating path and see what guys show up along the journey.

This morning in my devotional reading from Sarah Young’s Jesus Listens, I was reminded of how to enter 2024:

“My future stretches out before me, all the way into eternity, and You are the Companion who will never leave me–the Guide who knows every step of the way ahead.”

Remembering that God is my Guide “every step of the way ahead” helps me to feel less vulnerable, more certain of taking the next step. I wish this for you as we enter 2024 and you move toward your dreams.

Blessings to You All,

Connie