This past week, in the days leading up to Thanksgiving, I had a balance of activities outside of my home along with lots of time in the kitchen. I was preparing the entire Thanksgiving meal—unlike the years before when I only cooked a couple of dishes to share with extended family; this time, I made a countdown schedule of which ones to make each day. It didn’t matter that I’d only invited two others to join me– we still needed all the same foods for our feast.

When I thought about what I was grateful for while making my first cranberry-orange relish, it occurred to me, “You got what you wished for.” I remembered the years of working and having to make the dishes on Wednesday night, rushing to get everything done for the next day. I liked cooking most in fall and wished I had the week of Thanksgiving off. Now that I’m retired, that wish has come true. Being aware of how time had opened up, I felt myself relax more in the kitchen, present in each task.

While it was a holiday week, I knew I couldn’t let go of my training to prepare for the Camino journey next summer. One piece of equipment I needed was a backpack. Monday was the last day of the sale at the REI Co-Op, where I’m a member; shopping there would be my fun outing for the day. Since hiking is a more recent endeavor, there’s a lot I didn’t know, like needing to be fitted for a backpack. How helpful Rick, the staff member was, in helping me find the right length of backpack to fit my torso. Now I would have time to get used to all the compartments, hydration system, buckles and straps, with the weight distributed where it should be on my back and hips.

Later, when I returned to my kitchen, my older son, Brooks called me. He asked if I could attend the Pre-K Thanksgiving meal the next day with my younger grandson, Parks. He had to work, and my daughter-in-law, Emily was sick. I was glad that I’d left my schedule open to prepare for the holiday; nothing was more important than being with my grandson–especially since their family would be at the other grandparents’ for Thanksgiving. How it melted my heart to see Parks light up when he spotted me at the door.

I continued my steady progress in preparing. By Thursday morning, it looked like we’d be able to sit down to our meal at two o’clock as planned. But what was not planned, was a call from the guy I’ve been dating since February; he wouldn’t be able to join us. He didn’t feel well, but it was unclear exactly what the problem was; he apologized for the late notice, knowing how important it was to me; we’d talk later.

I was disappointed and felt a growing uneasiness about our relationship; I also felt confident that things would be okay; I’d had enough experience with relationships over the past few years to know I could handle whatever. My younger son, Ross and I would have a nice meal together and I wouldn’t let this change negatively impact my Thanksgiving meal with him.

Everything looked great– the perfectly roasted eleven pound turkey, cornbread dressing, green beans, baked sweet potatoes, cranberry-orange relish. Ross carved the turkey and then we sat down to eat. Our conversation easily settled on the challenges we’d experience in dating relationships. Since David and I divorced three years ago, I’ve actually had more honest and deep conversations with my sons. And with Ross, he understands the difficulties of online dating since he’s been part of that scene–unlike most of my family and friends.

I treasured our Thanksgiving together; that one-to-one time can be difficult with his work schedule and often sharing our visit with Brooks and his family. I think I’ll remember our quiet meal as being like the chocolate chess pie with whipped cream, Ross’s request, that we had for dessert; very sweet with a taste that’s rich and memorable.

Last week, I ended with a hope that we’d be grateful for the small, as well, as the large things. I said, “Maybe we’ll see some new positive development in a relationship with a family member; maybe we’ll see a way that a disappointment turned out to be the right thing for our life.” I believe those things happened for me.

And as always, I don’t want this post to be just about me. How was your week, your holiday celebration? Did you have disappointments that possibly turned out to be the right thing for your life? Did you find out new things about family or friends that changed how you see them?

On Friday, I took my new backpack and hiking poles and walked at the downtown park. How gorgeous the setting sun on that cold afternoon. My long trek gave me time to think about my week, my Thanksgiving conversation with Ross, my late RSVP from the other guest. I walked briskly and imagined next August on the Camino. I thought about the winter months ahead and how the look of the park will change. And in all this, I feel life unfolding as it’s supposed to.