A window of opportunity can be open just enough to let you through; you don’t know how long it’ll remain that way. When I was young, I thought that windows, like everything else around me, remained the same over time. I couldn’t see how dynamic life is, people and situations changing– at times drastically, at others, imperceptibly. Your perspective is different depending on if you’re looking in from outside the window, or gazing out from the inside, confined by the clutter of things around you; either side can call you.

A year ago this weekend, I responded to a window that opened. A friend, Aldo whom I’d met at the Abbey in Iona, Scotland in 2017 was coming to the US. He would be leading a spiritual retreat in Sanford, Florida. From the first conversation I’d had with Aldo, we seemed to get each other, as we talked about our faith journeys and shared about our lives during that retreat which had the theme, “The Pilgrimage of Life.” It didn’t matter that I was sixteen years his senior, of a different era, and he was from Holland with a European perspective. After that retreat, we kept up by email and messaged through Facebook—sharing about our families, our faith, and our struggles. He mailed me his memoir; in it I read some of the stories of his life he’d told me in Iona. Much of it took place in the land he loved– Skye, Scotland— a place that seemed to be his spiritual home.

I had no idea when I met him in 2017, that I would hear of Skye a couple years later. My cousin, Kim asked me to join her in carrying out her mother’s final wish to have her ashes strewn there. Since hearing Aldo talk about that wild and wonderful landscape on the west coast of Scotland, I felt the land in a special way as Kim and I traveled there last September. One of our stops on that Rabbie’s tour was at a small chapel in the middle of grazing land. The thick stone walls made for a cavelike protection from the always-blowing wind of the Outer Hebrides. I loved that brilliant window behind the alter in that darkened room.

How excited I was that when I returned to the States, I’d see Aldo a month later in Florida. Now, I understood his love of Skye and could see the places he talked about. I considered how it might appear for a woman of my age to drive to Florida to meet a younger man–one who was married and had children. But my need to see him again and continue in-person our friendship and soulful connection, was more important than appearances. I knew my intentions, and his, and that was what mattered; I couldn’t let that keep me from climbing through that window of opportunity.

I didn’t regret that decision. We had so many conversations that helped me to get to know him—and his wife and children, better. He was a great listener and support as I shared some of the story of my divorce that had been pushed down inside. How healing it was to let go of some of what I’d held onto—and didn’t realize, until we talked. What a luxury to devote the time to an unrushed visit, walking about the town, eating outside at some great little restaurants on the first day and spending the next at nearby Daytona Beach.

I came home feeling richly blessed from the gift of time with Aldo. He’s continued to be a support to me over the past year– sending me great references to speakers on faith that have challenged me, stretching my limiting beliefs that are partially born out of the confines of my cultural upbringing. He’s provided a helpful perspective on dating at this point in life–from the vantage point of a man who is from a younger era! Aldo said that I encouraged him as well, especially since our visit preceeded him leading the retreat group. It was a time of being built up before the giving of yourself that is required when you lead a retreat.

I’m glad I responded to that open window last October. I had to give up some things in order to go to Florida, including trick-or-treating with my grandsons. But since they live close by, I knew I’d have other opportunities to be with them. I didn’t know when Also would be back in the States, or if I’d ever travel to the Netherlands and visit him. But I do know, that it was intended for us to meet at Iona back in September of 2017. He was the person in my path at that international pilgrimage site on the tiny island of Iona. During the worship services we had there, looking out through the window of the sanctuary, I had no idea the far-reaching influence of that six-day retreat.