This week I had a new experience with my grandsons: keeping them for an extended time while their parents were visiting friends in Seattle. I kept Baker, who is now 5, and Parks, who is 3, for two days a week for over three years. So, I’m familiar with their routines from all those hours of keeping them. But I’ve never had them when my son, Brooks and daughter-in-law, Emily were far away–and gone for several nights. On Wednesday evening, I arrived in the early evening, as did their grandfather, “Popi” to hear our instructions for how to care for the boys until Sunday evening.

That night, I played with the boys while Brooks and Emily finished packing. They would leave on an early flight and be gone before Baker and Parks got up. When I went to give Parks a hug and tell him goodnight before his Daddy tucked him in, he looked at me with those dark eyes, and said, “I want you to stay with me a lot of nights.”

Good, I thought, and hoped he’d feel that way the next night when it was just me getting him to bed.

On Thursday morning, Baker remembered that he would go to school and I would have a special day with just Parks. On Friday, it would be Baker’s special day. It reminded me of how Mama, “Grandma Rosser” made a point of spending 1:1 time with each of her 7 grandchildren. It was important to know them individually; when you had them together it was always a competition.

While I checked on Baker’s backpack and prepared to take him to kindergarten, he and Parks sat at the dining room table. Baker ate breakfast and Parks played with his two dinosaurs. He has always been a ‘rough-and-tumble’ boy and was smacking the two toy figures together like they were fighting. He was talking to them and narrating their fight.

Baker, in his authoritative, older brother voice, said to little brother, “Parks, dinosaurs aren’t real. They’re Extinct.”

Parks got upset and yelled back at Baker, “Dinosaurs Do Not Stink, Baker!”

Baker knew that Parks didn’t understand.

“No, not Stink. EXTINCT. It means they’re dead.”

Parks ignored Baker and kept fighting with the dinosaurs. Then it was time to go.

I’m relieved when we walk Baker up to his school, on time, and then head out for breakfast at one of their favorite restaurants. Parks knows the routine and goes over to pick out a juice box while I order his kid’s breakfast. He makes quick work of eating his pancake and scrambled egg

Later, he chooses to spend his morning with Grammy playing soccer at the park and climbing the “Big Rock.”

In the afternoon, he wanted me to read his current favorite book, Nine Marvel Super Hero Tales and hear his favorite song that he calls out to Alexa, “Going on a Bear Hunt.” He listens to the song, the tale, sitting under the table because he says he’s “scared.” When I suggested that we change the song, he gets upset saying he wants that song; guess he wasn’t that scared.

Baker’s friend’s father brings Baker home from school. He and Parks hug, then are back to their usual brother fighting. After time together in the park, dinner, bath time, then it’s bedtime; that’s when things fall apart.

While Baker had been able to have an understanding of his parents being gone for four days, now that he’s in kindergarten with certain days for specials, Parks doesn’t have that grasp of time at 3 years old. Baker understood that Daddy and Mommy couldn’t be there at bedtime because they were far away; Parks did not.

“I want Daddy to put me in bed!” he said between sobs, then added, “I’m scared.”

I used my firm but nurturing grandmother voice, telling him I would be there and Mommy and Daddy would be returning but not that night.

His volume and intensity increased and he cried out, “I want Mommy and Daddy, NOW!”

I sat beside him on his bed and tried to console him– but he wasn’t having it. I tried to console myself, hating to see him that way, by saying he would eventually fall asleep. Eventually couldn’t come soon enough because I was exhausted.

Finally, he fell to sleep.

On Friday morning, Parks woke up happy and was soon upset that he had to go to PreK while Baker had his special day with Grammy. After a lot of trying to smooth things over, and a bribe with candy, I delivered Parks to daycare and Baker and I went to breakfast at the same restaurant as the day before. This time, after Baker ate breakfast, he explored the seating area while I lingered over my coffee.

When we returned home, he wanted to ride his scooter. I hadn’t been on the paths he took but he insisted, “I know the way, Grammy.” He was skilled, going up and down the hills in areas of the neighborhood that were new to me since I’d strolled him there two years ago.

My, how he’s changed in two years, I thought. But then so have I.

Going down the streets, I saw houses that I’d considered trying to buy two years ago after my divorce. Things hadn’t worked out like I’d hoped. Instead, I made my new home a county away. I didn’t know then that I would need a different place for my new life.

When we circled back to the street where Baker lives, he yelled out, “See, Grammy? I told you!” and had a huge smile on his face.

We finished out our day and I handed off the baton to Popi that evening, feeling relieved.

It had been a special time with my grandsons, and as Mama, Grandma Rosser used to say at the end of the blessing when she was surrounded by family, “These are special times.”