It’s a week away from my 50th reunion of Sanford Central High School. I was one of around 360 graduates. It seems impossible that half a century has passed since that June evening when we walked across the stage and received our diplomas. Looking back, I realize we were adolescents, and not as old as we felt; now, it seems we were merely children.

We had a limited view of life, that had been based in our family’s traditions, our parents’ affiliations, and the neighborhoods where we grew up. Back then, we didn’t have the early introduction to sports and other activities that children have today–both boys and girls, which allow them to meet a cross section of people. We didn’t know kids from ‘the other side of town’ until we merged our middle schools into one city high school. In our town, former rivals, Sanford Middle and Jonesboro Middle, became one in ninth grade.

That merger was overwhelming for me. I was separated from a lot of the kids I’d gone to school with since first grade.

Eventually, I made friends from ‘the other side of town.’ Since then, I’ve gotten to know some that I didn’t know in high school through Facebook and through this blog. Occasionally, I remember classmates as if they’re frozen in time– locked in those same roles and personas they had in high school. But then reality hits and I realize that none of us are the same as we were fifty years ago; how could we be?

For all of us, life has taken twists and turns that we couldn’t anticipate. What I remember about how I viewed the road ahead at eighteen, is that I wanted to attend college to be a nurse. Beyond that, I hoped to marry and have a family. All that would take place in the context of maintaining good relationships with my family and friends; that’s it; that was my plan.

Gradually, my life unfolded much that way. As I matured, I understood that all of those dreams, goals, life plans were more complex than I could have imagined. And that was true for my classmates, my contemporaries, as well; you can’t see what it takes to be all those roles that you want for yourself when you grow up. You observe your parents and other adults without knowing from experience all that’s required. The years are filled with countless lessons, realizations, amazements that you couldn’t know until you got there.

I’ve talked with folks my age about whether they’re going to their 50th reunions. I’ve gotten mixed responses that are as unique as the person. Some are unsure, waiting to see if any of their close friends will attend; some give me a definite “No” because their high school memories are painful and they don’t want to repeat them; some may not go because they are recently widowed or divorced and don’t want to go alone. I was unsure about going, and then decided to go because it’s a milestone and I recognize it as an important event to mark time. We, the class of ’73, were an era; those of us who came through our school, at the same time, have unique memories that draw us together.

It’s an opportunity to reunite with classmates–some I knew well, some I barely knew back then. It’s a chance to come together in-person at a time when so many of our meetings with friends are online; nothing like in-person, human contact. Before, we may have assumed there would be future opportunities to get together, plenty of time; but lately, I’ve been aware there’s no guarantee of time.

In a blog post over a month ago, I told about my college friend who was at UNC Hospital ICU on an ECMO machine. She improved and we thought she was going to recover. But last Tuesday, I got the sad news that she had died. While we knew she had been critically ill, it didn’t lessen the shock. She was young, just sixty-eight years old, too young to die. Sitting in her service last Friday, it hit me how time slips through your hands and we can’t take opportunities to be with friends for granted.

While I’ve reserved my spot at the reunion, I still have my hesitation. While I’m a ‘friendly’ person, I have a shy side– but not as much as I did in high school. I liked some attention, but not too much! This reunion will be a challenge for me in that my life has changed since I attended the 20th and 35th reunions with my husband. We were in that same high school class. When we sat in the “R” section on that graduation night, him in the row in front of me, neither of us had any idea that five years later we would be married; at the 35th reunion, we had no idea we’d attend the 50th–divorced and me bringing my boyfriend.

Life is filled with twists, and turns, and things we never expected; we all share that reality.

I decided to step outside myself and take my boyfriend, John; he would get to know me better by meeting high school classmates; I’ll get the same opportunity with him at the end of September at his 50th reunion. My plan is to “stay present” and be with each person in my path–much as I do on my solo journeys. I want to be other-conscious instead of self-conscious. I trust that the evening will be enjoyable, though maybe a bit awkward, if I let go and allow things to just flow; I’ve certainly been trying to learn that!

My hope is that whatever you decide, whether to go to your reunion or to leave it all in the past, that you’ll know it’s the right decision for you; only you know what’s best.

Until next time, which will be after the reunion, I wish you the best!

Connie